The Real Superman
by Tazmy
Summary: McKay just wants a vacation, but the universe won't let him have one. Written for the sgaflashfic Earthside Challenge


_This was written for the sgaflashfic Earthside Challenge. I didn't have a lot of time to write it or think about it, but this is what came out._

Main Dish: The Real Superman

Chef: Tazmy

Edibility: PG

Type: Gen

Takes place after the Seige; beta'd by Kodiak.

Summary: Rodney goes home for vacation, but apparently the universe won't let him have one.

**The Real Superman**

* * *

The dreamworld gently brushed away from McKay's grasp as a writing desk and green carpet came into view. He wrapped his arms around the fluffy pillow, pushing it closer to his head. He smiled softly. That's when he realized something was wrong. 

He bolted upright in bed. Adrenaline rushed through his body as he surveyed the room. His headset was no where to be seen, so its gentle chirp couldn't have been what woke him up. The alarm clock wasn't buzzing, so it wasn't that either. So what was the problem? What's more, this wasn't his quarters. His body never sank into his own mattress as it was doing now, and since when did he have so much room to spread out? Hello. Green carpet? It should have been his first clue.

He closed his eyes, laughing softly, while kicking his feet off the bed. No, this was not his quarters. No, he was not on Atlantis. Yes, he was safe. It had been his own body, refreshed and ready for a new day, that had awoken him. He'd forgotten what it was like to wake up naturally.

After dousing his face with water and dressing in some khaki's and a t-shirt, McKay made his way downstairs and into the Hilton lobby. It might as well have been an alien country. He didn't recognize the faces or the scenery, wasn't even sure what to expect from his day or what he would find outside. Everything was so different...so...well, alien. Sure, he knew these people weren't going to suddenly attack him or turn into secret Genii spies, but there was still a certain uneasiness to the place. The technology was all wrong for him to be among his own, and everyone walked as though no distance was enough to keep their personal space.

He held the door open for a short woman cuddling a small child before he made his own way into the baking sun. It's definitely not home; it's not even Canada. When he first received word that he would be able to go back to Earth, his first thought had been to visit Jeannie. Make amends and all that crap. But the closer the Daedalus came, the more McKay knew he just couldn't face that part of his life again. Not yet. In the end he hung a map of North America on the wall and threw a single dart to determine his location. He'd never heard of Eugene, Oregon before, and now that he was here, he knew why. He'd seen backwater planets with more entertainment options.

It was a short walk to the Hult Center where he grabbed some tickets for an afternoon symphony and an evening musical. It wouldn't be anything like Broadway, but there were less people to deal with in this city and he's more than happy for the silence.

He'd like to say he was bored. That he missed the field and his friends...Atlantis. Truth be told, there's a part of him...okay...a gigantic part of him, that did. But every time he closed his eyes he saw the Wraith and vacation didn't sound so bad.

He was almost back to the Hilton doors when he heard a terrible screech followed by a few clanks, pounds, and thuds. He turned around to see a man sprawled on the ground, blood spreading from beneath him. "You've got to be kidding me," he groaned before breaking into a sprint. The main part of the bike lay jut a few feet away. A gray Sedan ground to a halt, a worried teenage girl racing out of the main door and towards the victim. McKay was already there checking the ABC's of first aid while another pedestrian called 911. When the ambulance finally arrived, McKay was so weary from the rescue breathing that he could hardly see straight. Thankfully, he had carried a mask in case of such emergencies, but he couldn't help but wonder what diseases might have been spread through the contact.

Apparently, the Pegaus Galaxy wasn't the only place that never heard of a day off.

He managed to make the symphony after stuffing his face with an old fashioned bacon cheeseburger. Fast food wasn't as amazing as he remembered, but it had its moments. The symphony was breathtaking.

When he told Elizabeth where he'd be vacationing, her answer had been simple. Bring an umbrella. When he made his way outside of the glass doors, he wished he'd taken her advice. He'd been here five days now and if it wasn't sprinkling, the weather was conspiring to drench you. Lovely. He made a note to tear down that map the second he got home and never let it make any more decisions for him again.

He stopped for dinner before attending Miss Saigon. He smelt smoke shortly after taking the first bite of a red steak. The alarms started blaring shortly after. Panicked faces pushed their way towards the nearest exit, but McKay was amazed to find himself walking the other direction--toward the fire. Wasn't he supposed to be the smart one? This was most definitely not smart!

It turned out to be an electrical fire from a bad extension cord. McKay managed to contain it when no one else could, but the smoke was still bad enough that he was half passed out by the time he could even think of leaving the premises. Problem was, the cook was already out like a light a few feet away from him. "Of course, leave it to me to do everything!" he tried to scream but all that came out was a harsh cough. Too weak to carry the guy, he took to dragging the man before a fireman relieved him of his burden. He'd never take fresh air for granted again.

Miss Saigon used to be one of his favorite plays, but now the war images just left him feeling sick to his stomach. He left after the first act, wondering why he didn't get tickets to The Producers instead.

A shrilling scream sent him straight into alert-panic mode. Instead of making his way back into the Hilton, he found himself wandering towards the local bars in search of the sound. Eugene was mostly a friendly town, low on crime according to his research, but it also had its moments. The scream echoed again, but was quickly muffled. McKay quickened his pace.

This was more of a Sheppard job, he realized as he saw two figures struggling in the alley. McKay wasn't the strongest and probably couldn't take on Elizabeth much less a psychotic, large man. He didn't think to bring his gun either. That left only one other option: bluffing his way out of this. He settled for breaking the window of a car in the parking lot--connecting the wires to make it start. The sports car took off with an exaggerated vrooom, its flashlights aimed right down the alley. The aggressor took one look up, then scurried away down the other end of the gravel road. He didn't even wait to see what crazed man was behind the wheel.

McKay called 911 again while checking the girl's vitals. She had a black eye and bit of bruising on her arm, but he didn't see any other evidence of damage other than that she'd passed out.

Shortly before the ambulance arrived, someone came yelling about their stolen car and how they'd have him arrested. McKay just pulled out his check book and gave the man a check for thirty thousand dollars. "You'll get over it," he said as he brandished the check forward. It wasn't as if he needed money anyway. Rest, however, was a whole other story.

One of the EMT's that arrived turned out to be one of the ones that had helped him at the fire. He spared McKay a grateful nod before loading his newest patient in the back of the vehicle.

McKay turned on the news before falling asleep. They were doing one of those annoying human interest stories. The city was trying to locate a mysterious man who had spent the last few days saving people around the city. They're calling him the real Superman. McKay laid back against the sheets and cackled the laugh of a mad man. Beckett was right. They were cursed. The whole team and especially Rodney. If there was one constant in this universe it was that McKay would never get a vacation.


End file.
